The only other half that makes me Whole
by CullenGril
Summary: Its been seven years and both Edward and Bella have a life of their own. They let each other go and both claim they are happy. But everytime Edward visits Bella in her dreams, the longing for what was once there grows stronger. Can you really give up on a love like theirs?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. It belongs to Stephanie Myer

Prologue

I dreamt about him… again.

This is the 2nd time this week! I must admit, as much as I enjoy having him visit my subconscious, I feel guilty. And the worst part is, I know I won't be able to get him out of my head the whole day.

My dreams about him always feel so real. I shut my eyes hoping that I will go back to sleep. I _really_ wanted to finish that dream. Fuck! I'm the worst person in the whole world.

I felt Jacob's arm pull me closer to him. "It's Sunday, why are you up so early"

"I'm always up early babe. Go back to sleep. I'm going to get up and read a little bit before the monster gets up." I gave him a soft kiss on his forehead and used my ass to wiggle out of his arms. Ugh! I'm such a bitch. Is there such thing as dream cheaters?

They say that dreams are our subconscious way of dealing with our fears and thoughts that we don't want to face when we are awake. But the problem is, I have dealt with him. I am happy. So happy. There were no unfinished businesses. I said my piece and he said his. We both admitted we had our faults and both happy with where we are at with our lives. The point is, we both have moved on. We grew up, made mistakes but in the end both got what we both wanted.

So why does it feel like something is still missing?


	2. Chapter 2: The Wedding Part 1

The Wedding Part 1

"Alice, are you sure I don't look stupid. Maybe the other dress will look better on me. And do I really need this veil?" I was a blubbering mess. I just want to look perfect. I want him to look at me at feel proud and blessed that he is marrying a beautiful woman. Today, I want to be beautiful in his eyes. After enduring 3 hours of primping with Alice, I better see tears from that man's eyes.

"You look great Bella. Everything looks perfect" Alice reassured me for the 10th time since we arrived at the white chapel.

"Is the bride ready?" Jasper came in and suddenly I felt a wave of calm hit me. He took my hand and I wrapped my arms around his. "You look beautiful Bella. He is one lucky guy." I leaned in Jaspers shoulder, thankful that he is the one walking me down the aisle.

I was really nervous. I never imagine this moment to come so soon. But even with the nerves, I was so sure of this moment. I want to become his in every possible way. I want to wear a simple band to symbolize that I belong to someone, forever. I heard them call for me as the music started to play. I recognize the music right away. He wrote it for me as a Valentine's Day present and promised me that one day I will walk towards him wearing a white dress while this song plays softly in the background. I started the short walk to towards the groom. Emmett, Rosalie and Alice stood there with him. I looked deep into his green eyes, well aware that every step I take is a step towards beautiful days. It's an extraordinary feeling to know that this man wants to keep me forever.

I reached for his hand and turned to Rosalie to hand her my bouquet as Alice adjusted my address. Alice is the newest addition to my family. I owe her a great deal.

The officiant greeted the six of us and proceeded with the ceremony. We requested a very simple ceremony that centered on our vows. I was against this since public speaking was not my greatest suit but in the end I caved, agreeing that today was about him and me and that everyone else was there to witness, not to judge. I will do anything for him, even if it means possibly barfing on my dress while I profess my love to my husband to-be.

"Bella, from the moment I laid my eyes on you, you have captured me and made me yours. We were broken and our meeting was such a beautiful disaster. I do, promise you that I will spend the rest of our lives growing with you, changing with you and always moving towards you. I love you with everything that I am. I don't know how I lived my life without you and I am so happy that you are here, making a promise that I won't have to find out." He slid the ring on finger and it rested right beside his mother's ring. I felt the tears starting to prick my eyes and threatened the words that needs to come out of my mouth.

"The day you sang to me is the day I came to life. That life I had before you can't be called living because in order for life to begin, love is needed. You nourish me, you give me a purpose. I was born to love you and to be with you for as long as time will let us. I promise you that I will give all I am to you and that I will always love you. I don't know how to be whole without you. You are my other half, the only other half that makes me whole."

"By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride". I melted when he took me into his arms and kissed me with so much love I felt my heart stop and skip a beat. How can a person survive with this much love radiating in her body that it feels like her heart is going to explode?

"It is my honor to introduce to all of you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen"

I'm Mrs. Cullen now. For now, everything is perfect.


	3. Chapter 3: The Phone Call

Chapter 3: The Phone Call

"I'm really sorry for everything. I didn't mean for.." I was so nervous on how to start this conversation. Thank God Edward interjected before I can finish my sentence.

"Do you think I will be here talking to you if I didn't think you were sorry? Bella it was a long time ago. We were kids and we made rash decisions. I have my faults too and I am sorry for those. I just wish.. So, how about the Mavericks huh!"

I let out a chuckle. " You and your damn basketball. By the way, the Maverick sucks. I think the Clippers will win it." I said, so sure of myself.

"You still watch?" He sounded surprise. Basketball was like a religion for me and him at one time, long ago.

"Eh.. Not since the Kings lost to the Mavericks in 2003. Then the next year they started drafting our.. I mean my players. It wasn't the same when I lost Bibby and my Twin Towers. So I just stop watching. Now I'm all about the San Francisco Giants." I was very excited about this. Giants were up 3-0 for the world series.

"Baseball? Since when did you become such a pussy. Baseball sucks. It's so slow and boring." I knew he was not going to approve of me giving up watching basketball for baseball. He used to tell me that baseball was like a bad blind date. It's long and painful to watch.

"Not if you are watching the Giants!" This feels so effortless. It's like we just talked this morning instead of 7 years ago. We talked more about our friends and our families. He talked about his daughter a lot and so did I. He also mentioned something about being sort of married. I'm not sure what that means. Maybe it's a Canadian thing? I didn't bother asking for more details. It felt wrong having to talk about my husband and his wife at the same time. As much as I want to pretend I was okay with this, it still stings a little. Okay, maybe be a lot. Who am I kidding. This is Edward Cullen were talking about.

"I'm glad you called. We should do this more often." I said.

"I'm glad too. We should try Skype next time. I haven't seen you in a long time. I have a feeling your pictures at Facebook don't do you justice." I was happy this was over the phone or else my stupid blush will have given me away.

Silence

"Goodbye Joey."

A huge smile appeared in my face.

"Bye Pacey."

It will be a while before him and I talk to each other again.


	4. Chapter 4: The Return

The Return

I turned on my phone and quickly texted Edward.

**I am here!**

I started checking around my surrounding, making sure I don't leave anything. I opened the window and looked outside. It was sunny in Toronto. The snow that covers the ground glistened like sparking diamonds under the sun. The plane was moving so slowly. I looked at my phone. No text back from Edward. I hope he did not catch any traffic. I wonder if there is traffic in Canada.

I gathered my things and started making my way towards the front of the plane, eager to get out of this contraption that is holding me hostage from Edward. The moment the gate came into view, I nearly tripped and fell as I ran towards the copper haired boy standing on the doorway with a box of peanut brittle at hand. I felt his strong arms tightened around my waist.

"Bella, Oh my God I missed you so much." He kissed me with such urgency it left me breathless.

"Me too Edward! You have no idea." We stood there at the airport holding each other. At that moment nothing will be able to move me from that spot, not an earthquake, not a tsunami. The only way I will move is if Edward move and I have a feeling that is not happening.

"My Bella," he nuzzled his nose in my hair and inhaled my scent.

"Edward," I couldn't hold it in anymore, I let the tears fall and it did not stop. I kept crying while Edward continues to caress my cheek with his long fingers.

"Shhh, its okay Love, I'm right here." Edward wipe the tears from my face. That won't really help much.

"I don't ever want to be apart again Edward. I felt like I died a thousand deaths."

"Really? We are very poetic today aren't we? And it only took being apart for 6 months"

"Please don't joke," I mumbled in his shirt

"Never Love. Now, let's get you outta here."

The saddest part is that I will be back here in another 14 days. And that will surely be the death of me.

I reluctantly opened my eyes as the rays of the sun assaulted me. I went through what I normally do to wake myself up when I don't want to move. I always wake up early but its the getting up part that's hard. I took a quick inventory of my sleeping body parts. I quietly willed my toes to wake up, then my feet, next my legs, arms and head. I moved my heard towards the quiet rusting beside me. The gentle hum of his breathing proved that I was awake and he is real. I looked at the man laying beside me, his gentle features makes me ache. He is mine. All mine.

I ran my fingers on his nose, then his lips as the events of last night came back to me.

"I missed you so much," Edward let out a low growl in my mouth. His hands were hungry, his mouth starved. His lips caressed mine, eager for my response. I sucked his lips and opened my mouth to take a breath when suddenly, his tongue devoured Me. His kisses are needy. He opened the doors to his condo and used my body to slam it shut. We are now in our own world. A world where there are no tomorrows. Tonight, we dream of a world where the sun does not rise nor set. We dream of Twilight.

His hands made it down to my thighs and he gripped me hard. That will definitely leave a mark tomorrow but I didn't care. He can toss me and shuffle me around and nothing will make me want to let him go. There is no pain more excruciating than the last 6 months. My hands found Edwards hair. I tugged on it hard and Edward rewarded me with a loud moan.

"Fuck baby.. I need to be inside you. You have to help me to slow down or this is not going to last more than 2 minutes,"

"I want you inside me Edward. I want to feel you.. I want you to love me,"

"Shit Bella.. you can't… say (kiss) things.. like that (kiss) and expect me to be gentle.." Edward's voice was hoarse and full of longing. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist, like I was holding for my life as he maneuvered into the dark space to his bed. He laid me gently and without taking his mouth off mine, he hovered on top of me and pressed his hard erection in between my legs.

"I love you so much Bella.. I can't be apart from you ever,"

I love you so much…. Please, I want you inside me Edward,"

Edward started to impatiently unbutton my shirt but lost it and ripped it open. A sudden heat spread all over my body as the sound of the ripping cloth made me come undone right then and there. I took of his shirt as fast as I can, eager to make contact with his skin. As soon as his flesh touched mine, I was no longer afraid of tomorrow. I am right where I belong.

Edward took of my pants as I unbuckled his belt and pushed his pants down using my feet. His cock sprung free, and is now resting excitedly on my belly. I ached to touch it and guide it into to me. As I felt his cock twitched of excitement, I eased him inside me, gasping for a moment as he buried himself into me. I was lost in the sensation. I felt like I needed air but I couldn't part from his lips. He growled louder as he tried to pace himself, moving slowly at first. My legs tightened around him and gave him the permission to go faster. He cupped my ass and pushed himself deeper into me. I moan a little louder this time.

"Edward… oh my god… I can feel you everywhere! Shit! Please.. more,"

"I don't know if I can last Bella. Its been so long. You feel so good… so so good. Your pussy is so warm and tight," We were both panting now.

"I don't care.. just don't stop… please don't let me go,"

Edward picked up the pace as he grabbed the back of my neck and with a swift movement, he pulled me towards him and swung me around until I was sitting on top of him, straddling him.

"Open your eyes Bella." He was breathing hard. I can smell the mint and cigarettes in his breath as he rest his forehead on mine.

"I told you to stop smoking."

"I couldn't wait for today... All I can think about is this - like this," He started slamming to me hard and he cried the sweetest moan.

"Jerk…"

"I promise I wont do it again," he said.

"Fuck!" I started mumbling words incoherently.

"Bella please come with me.. look at me and come with me love. I'm so close!"

"I'm with you Edward… faster.. yes just like that," No words can describe what his body did to me. Sweat now started to permeate from both of our bodies and now I am on a high, an Edward high. I felt myself about to get there and it was the sweetest torture ever.

"Just like that Love, let you make come Bella.. come with me.."

"Fuck!" I came undone as I convulse in his arms.

"Shit Bella I am coming.." He collapse on top of me as we both came down from the high we were feeling.

My eyes wandered around Edward's condo. It's actually a loft style with expose beams and a wardrobe that acts as a divider, separating the bedroom from the living room. There is a small kitchen with a stove. I continue to look around until my eyes rested on a picture frame with a photo of me and Edward. I recognized the photo. It was taken the day before he left. The day of our wedding. We looked so happy.

Edward picked up his head to turn and look at me. We stared at each other for a second. Then he place a light kiss on my lips.

"I love you my beautiful wife."

"As I do my adorable husband."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I dont own twilight. Stephanie Myer owns Twilight

**_I hope you guys are enjoying so far! I would really love to hear some feedback!_**

The Case of the Ex

Damn it Swan, control yourself!

How is this even possible? It's been two hours of non-stop crying and I continue to produce tears. I'm starting to feel light-headed and there is this pain that is starting to surface in my forehead. I feel like I have held my breath under water for a very long time that I am getting to that threshold of possibly passing out.

"Stop crying Bella, he really is not worth all of this," that was Jasper, my best friend and confidant. I use to tell him that he is like my baking soda; you can use it on anything and no matter how bad it is, it will either fix it or get rid of it. That was my Jasper.

"Can you promise me that you won't let me go there next time?" I was barely audible. Jasper and I are sitting in the couch with candles and wine on the coffee table. I can always trust him to ground me. He has a way of making me feel better even without speaking.

"I promise Bella, everything will be okay. Tell you what; I'm going to invite a couple of my co-workers from the coffee shop tonight. We'll have a small get together when I get home. I'll get some more wine and maybe even some of those special brownies that you love so much," Jasper winked at me.

"You know I don't do that shit anymore Jasper." Yeah, yeah, I use to like 'srooms. Well, like is an understatement. Let's just say, Jasper had to stage an intervention at one point.

"Just making sure I'm still talking to the rational Bella. Get some sleep sweetheart. We will take care of this tomorrow, or should I say later today," Jasper gave me a kiss on the forehead. I glanced at the clock. It's 12:45.

"Okay. And Jasper..."

"Yeah Bella?"

"Just in case I don't say it enough, thank you."

"You're welcome sugar."

I got up and headed towards my room. Everything was as I left it a couple of days ago. I picked up a box from my closet and started filling it up with items that I need to get rid of. I started with the photographs, then the CD's and some T-shirts that he left. Its 2 am now and thank god its Saturday. I really don't feel like doing anything today but lie in bed and sulk. I can't believe I fell for it again. Why do you do this to yourself Bella? He is not worth all this pain and heartache. What is that saying " you fool me once, shame on you, you fool me twice, shame on me." So what does that say about you after 3 episodes? I grabbed the last of the photographs. It was a picture of me and James welcoming the New Year wearing one of those paper hats and beads around necks.

James was my on and off friend and boyfriend since 10th grade. We grew up on a little town called Forks and our parents have known each other since they were in high school. One day, he kissed me at Angela's 15th birthday party and asks me to go steady. He was one of the most popular guys at school so I said yes. The fact that I was already comfortable with him made me not feel weird about the dating thing. I figured since we were friends first, we can learn from each other without feeling embarrassed. Boy was I in for a big surprise! All we did was fight! The only time we did not fight was when we were making out inside his car. And even then, it felt weird. James' kisses feels like a puppy licking my mouth! And the worst was when he will try to put his tongue inside my mouth! James said that it's supposed to be that way, that _I_ just need to practice more and _I_ can get better. Three months passed and he broke up with me. He said we were just better at being friends. I agreed. I was a little sad but at least the tongue assaults would stop.

Jasper came into my life in the middle of the semester on my sophomore year. His family moved from Canada when Jasper's grandmother was sick. He actually moved to the house across mine. We clicked right away. We have the same taste in music, we both like to play instruments and both agree that there is a time in the day where real friends can just sit in silence and not have to feel the need fill the room with small talk. I really loved Jasper for that. We actually tried to go out on a date once but we knew right away in the end that we were better of friends. Well, he knew. He said he didn't feel anything when we kissed. I cried because I thought that I was really a bad kisser like what James led me to believe. Jasper walked me through it and in the end, I agreed that I really didn't feel anything as well. He said to me that when that guy comes, I won't have to guess, I'll know. We were closer than ever after that.

James took notice of Jasper and started coming around more often. He and Jasper were civil but I can tell that they were both not too fond of each other. In the end, they found come common interest and actually got along well. James asked me out again the beginning of junior year. He said, he missed us and no other girl compared to me. I took him back and it was actually good for a while. The kissing got better, thank God. Then, he asked me to junior prom and that's when all hell broke loose. After prom, he drove me to a hotel and said tonight was "The Night". I realized what he meant and I said I was not ready. My mom and I had the talk but I can't even say penis without squirming. He got so pissed off and said that he should have just taken Lauren. The asshole kicked me out of his car and left me there. I called Jasper using the phone at the hotel lobby and he came and got me. I found out later that he bailed on his date to come and rescue me. I really felt bad about that. He said that there were no sparks anyways so I did him a favor.

The next day, he came over my house after school sporting a black eye and a busted lip. All he said was "You should see the other guy!" I didn't have to ask to know who he meant. I just hugged him and called him my hero.

I don't know how it happened but before the school year was over, James and I were back together. I seriously can't remember how it happened. Jasper was really upset. He did not talk to me for 4 days but finally gave up after I stood in front of his window, wearing a trench coat and carrying a stereo over my head that was playing a "Don't you want me Baby" by Human league. And just like that, I won my best friend back. Thank you John Cusack! I was not that creative.

Jasper and James also figured out how to mend their friendship and that summer was so awesome. We camped, watched movies and attended house parties. Everything was good, really good until 2 months to our senior year, James and his family moved to Seattle. We decided to work on a long distance relationship but it didn't work out. I was a mess. He cheated and we broke up. We promise to stay friends and we did. It was easy because we were far away from each other.

By the time you know it, high school graduation came and Jasper and I were both headed to University of Washington. Jasper's parents' was kind enough to rent us a house with 3 bedrooms to share while we go to UW. Since James was also going to UW, it just made sense for all of us to share the house. It was weird at first and somehow, James found a way back to my bed. It was good at first until I realize how many women he started seeing while I was at Forks. One in particular, Victoria, showed up on our front door on James birthday and I was done at that point. Or so I thought I was.

We fought, broke up but decided to stay friends. It wasn't weird this time but somehow James decided that he will try to win me back and he did one drunken Friday night. We made promises of fidelity and trust. Everything actually felt like it was going to be okay this time. Our morning was spent running and since I work nights, breakfast was the time we dedicated for just me and him.

Jasper has tried to be cool about all this. He doesn't like to see me cry. He never blames me for anything. He should. I'm the stupid one who keeps letting that man come back to my bed only to move back out a couple of months later.

But this time was really different. This was unforgivable.

It was Spring Break and James decided to go to visit his parents at California. I couldn't go since the airfare was too expensive and I needed to make money this spring break. He promised to call me every day and he did. Everything was going well. One morning, I got an envelope from Jasper with a round trip airfare to San Francisco. He said he was tired of me sulking around and a weekend at San Francisco should do me good. I had no words as I hugged my best friend and gave him a kiss in the cheek.

I was at San Francisco airport 8 hours later. It was already 11 at night so I went straight to the hotel that I decided to book with what was the reminder of my saved allowance. I decided that I will surprise James with some breakfast at six in the morning, just like how we do it back home.

I was standing in front of James' house at six o'clock in the morning. I had bagels and hot coffee for James and hot chocolate for me. I texted him but since he wasn't picking up, I decided to ring the bell. James parents are nice people and I'm sure they won't be upset about the intrusion this early in the morning. Then, the unthinkable happen. A red-haired woman wearing a San Francisco Giant T-Shirt opened the door. I ran as fast as I could when I heard Victoria started calling James. I heard him calling me. He was getting closer. He was screaming my name, begging me stop. I yelled at a cab to stop and I quickly got in. James caught up to me before the cab to got away. He just stared at me. He was breathing hard. I rolled the window up and we were gone.

I was lucky to get a stand by seat on a plane back to Seattle without having to pay a fee. Two hours after the incident, I was on my way back to Washington. My phone wouldn't stop ringing and beeping with texts and phone calls, most of them from James and a couple from Jasper pleading me to answer my phone. He threatened violence towards James and promised me he was out of our house when he gets back. I know James will have nowhere to go so I might have to talk to Jasper about this.

When my plane landed, exhaution spread through out my body. I know Jasper will be waiting even though I told him I want to be alone. As soon as I got into his car, the tears I have held just broke like a dam. Jasper never talked but just held my hand as we drove. Must be hard to hear your friend cry so hard and not say anything. But that's just Jasper. He always knew how to take care of me.

"He is out of here! I am giving him until Friday to find a place". Jasper voice was stern and firm. I just told him The Giant cheating scandal.

"Jasper it's okay. I don't think it's fair for James. He is your friend too. I was actually thinking, the basement downstairs has a working kitchen and insulation. It also has a heater and good ventilation, maybe he can move down there or I could…"

I can tell Jasper wasn't very fond of this option but he agreed. "Fine. I will tell him to move all his things there as soon as he gets here. I will also change the lock upstairs so he can't get in without knocking. The basement has its own entrance so he won't need to come in through the house to get there. Just to be clear, I am only doing this because you asked me to. If he screws up again, he is out of our house. You are always my priority Bella."

"I don t know what I will do without you Jasper." I hugged him a bit more tighter this time.

"As long as I am breathing, I will protect you."

"I love you Jasper."

"You know I love you too, Bella."

I was silent for minute. "We need to get you a woman so you can share all the love."

Jasper rewarded me with a huge smile. "I'm sure she is out there right this minute looking for me Bella."

I ripped the photograph into pieces, got up and went back to the kitchen and open the emergency stash of whiskey. I grabbed a glass only to turn around and bring back the entire bottle with me. I plan to get really fucked up tonight.


	6. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Stephanie Myer owns Twilight.

Chapter 6: The First Time Ever I saw your face

"Bella wake up! Are you okay?" I suddenly felt the worst headache in the history of all headaches invade me.

"Fuck! Don't shout please." I tried to lift my head but my neck seems to think that she isn't part of my body and respectfully declined.

"I'm not shouting Bella, but I'm not so sure your head isn't." He picked up the bottle lying on the floor. "Did you finish this bottle of whiskey?

"I don't remember," I lied. I certainly did.

"Come on! Get up and drink some water."

"I can't Jasper, I might throw up." That wasn't a lie. I certainly will if I move. At least I think I will.

"Well aren't you glad then that you have your own bathroom that is less than 5 feet from your bed? Come on Bella! Don't make me carry you."

I tried to sit up. It feels like a piano fell in my head. Jasper cleared his throat and turned around. I just realize I was only wearing a bra, I guess I was more fucked up than I thought.

"Come on Jasper, as if you haven't seen me in my bra before." that was actually a funny story. But unfortunately, I am so not in the mood to reminisce.

Jasper went to my closet and handed me my robe. He also pulled a chair and watched me gulp the glass of water and the 2 tiny pills that he placed in my hand.

"So, some of my co-workers from the coffee shop are coming in tonight. We will just hang out, have some wine and I was thinking maybe we can jam!" That was our favorite pastime, me on the piano and Jasper on the guitar.

"Sure, as long as my head stays attached." I was nervous to speak and ask him a question. "Is he..?"

"Yeah, he just got here two hours ago." Jasper's forehead made those lines that it makes when he is really upset. "We got into fight when I told him he can't see you. I said if he tries, I am kicking his ass to the street."

"Thanks Jasper" I lied back on my bed.

"You're welcome Bella. By the way I am going to the airport. My cousin from Canada is coming today. I offered him James's room since he is not staying there anymore. He's coming out to see UW. He's thinking of transferring." Jasper is tucking me into my bed. Why I am not in love with this one is beyond me.

"Which cousin,'

"Edward. I don't think the two of you have met yet. My mother and his father are siblings"

"Okay. I'll be here."

"Do you want me to get you something to eat?"

"I don't think I will be eating for a while but thanks." The thought of anything passing through my esophagus is enough to make me gag a bit.

"Okay. I'll see you later."

I close my eyes and drifted to sleep again. Even though I was still pretty drunk, staying asleep is still a challenge. Dreams about James and a certain red hair woman invaded my sleep. I refused to open my eyes every time I wake up. I willed myself to go back to sleep again. Finally when I felt that my head doesn't feel like it weighs a ton, I opened my eyes. It was already dark outside. I can hear music outside my room. That means it's at least 9pm. Did I really sleep all day? Must be the time change and the exhaustion. I got up and thank god the headache was gone. I took a quick shower, dried my hair and went to the closet to put something presentable to wear. I settled with my skinny jeans and long sleeve shirt. I was trying to apply my mascara when I heard the most beautiful sound. The piano? It can't be Jasper since he doesn't really touch the piano. That was my thing. I walked out of my room and realize that no one was here yet. It's really quiet other than the sounds of the keys being caressed by someone's fingers. I tiptoed to the living room, afraid I will startle whoever is playing. I looked over and saw a man with his back turned against me. All I saw was his cooper hair, his light skin and broad shoulders. This must be Edward. The music stopped and he let out a sigh.

"That was beautiful". I said

He turned around and suddenly I was staring at the most beautiful face that I have ever seen. His face is beautifully sculpted and his jaw lines are nice and perfectly chiseled. He stood up walked towards me and smiled. If I thought he was beautiful then, that crooked smiled made him look like Adonis with clothes on. Those eyes are like magnet. You can't help but look at it. They are the most beautiful shade of green.

"You must be Isabella. I'm Edward Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you. Jasper has told me so much about you. He just went out to get some drinks." He extended his hand to shake mine. I grabbed it and felt a pulsating electricity shock me. I couldn't take my eyes off him until he spoke.

"Are you alright?"

"Bella, it's Bella. Sorry, I had a long night.'

"I heard. I hope you don't mind. I felt it was only fair to ask questions around you since you and I will be roommates."

Wow, roommates.. I don't think I can sleep knowing that face and that body will be right across my room.

"It's okay. I'm sure this won't be the last time you will hear about it since Jasper will make sure I move on from this."

Silence

"You play beautifully," I remembered the beautiful notes that came out of my piano.

He grabbed the back of his neck and let out a chuckle.

"Thanks. You have a beautiful piano." He walked back towards it and ran his fingers on my keys; I mean the piano's keys. Definitely not _my_ keys.

"It was my grandmother's. She gave it to me before she passed" I'm trying really hard not to stare but between that face and Johnny Walker in my head, it's proving to be difficult.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It was a long time ago. What were you playing? It sounded like Debussy."

"You know Clair de Lune?" He sounded surprise.

I nodded. Come on Swan! Is speaking going to be hard as well?

"I'm kind of a nerd." Great Swan, that's your come back? Might as well stay mute.

"I guess that makes the two of us." he chuckled. "Do you play?"

"Yeah, not as well as you."

"You have a lot of 80s music sheet." He started shuffling the leaves of music sheets that I have.

"Well Mr. Cullen, it's because 80's and early 90's music are the only genre other than the 50's and 60's that are tolerable. Do you remember when people use to write about how they feel and sang the hell out of it? Now, all I hear are nasally pop singers talking about something that she did again!" I have serious issues on the direction that the music industry is taking.

Then, Edward laughed. God that sound. I want to hear it again and again. Damn it swan! What the hell are you thinking. He is way out of your league.

"Yeah I know. And the boy bands! Man, if I have to watch another video of a bunch of guys wearing an unbuttoned shirt getting hosed down I will literally stop watching MTV."

"They don't sing it like Boys to Men use to. On Bended Knee was so heart breaking it still makes me ache every time I hear it."

"I heard you sing." Edward started playing a couple of notes on the piano

"A little. I work at a karaoke bar and sometimes get paid to get up there and sing some songs. How about you?"

"Well nothing as awesome as a Karaoke singer. I'm more of a composer than a singer."

He scoot to the right and motioned for me to sit beside him. I didn't know what to do other than to walk towards him and sit beside me, careful to make sure that I leave enough space to keep my sanity but not so much that he might think I think he has cooties. He flipped the music sheets and looked at me when his fingers stop on a very familiar song to me. His long fingers started stroking the piano and then his voice almost knocked me out of my chair.

_I don't know what it is that you done to me_

_But it cause me to act in such a crazy way_

_Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing _

_It's a feeling I don't understand._

He looked at me expectantly. I stared at his eyes and let the words flow out of my mouth.

_'Cause my heart starts beating triple times with thoughts of loving you on my mind _

_I can't figure out just what to do when the only cure is you_

Edward decided to join me. We looked at each other's eyes as we played with the highs and low of notes that flowed so smoothly from both of our mouths.

_I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak_

_I lose all control and something takes over me_

_In a daze, you look so amazing, it's not a phase, I want you to stay with me_

_By my side I'll swallow my pride your love it's so sweet that it knocks me right off my feet_

_Can't explain why your love it makes me weak._

Edward let the last couple of notes linger in the air. We sat motionless, trying to decipher what just happened. Then we heard some whistles and applauses.

"Oh my God,' a woman from behind me screamed. I turned around and I saw Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett standing by the doorway. Rosalie and Emmett work with Jasper at The Coffee Shop and goes to UW. They are one of the cutest couples I know.

"You guys sound amazing together. You should duet more often. I can't believe you guys sound like that on your first song!"

"Um thanks Jazz. That was awesome Edward." I start feeling the heat working its way up my cheeks.

"You were pretty amazing too Bella. And by the way, that's a lovely blush you have there."

Damn, he said lovely. Can he be any more perfect?

"Well as much as I would love to hear more of this, we really need some help with the food and drinks. People will start arriving pretty soon."

Edward and I stood and walked towards the door. I couldn't stop glancing his way. I have never sung that way ever before. Not even when I know the song well. I don't even know what to say about the chorus part. The harmony just flowed, like we knew where to start and where to pick up from each other. I was still in a high when my foot got caught on the grocery bag and I tripped, but this time instead of landing on the floor which was always the case, two strong and sturdy hands caught me. I looked up and all I saw was Edwards lips. He took a breath and released it to my face. It smelled like cigarettes, cinnamon Altoids and.. honey? combined. Man, I'm am so dead.

"I'm sorry I'm so clumsy all the time. You should learn to clear at least 8 feet of distance from me or else you will have bruises and a hole before the night is over." I straightened myself disappointed that he let go of me so suddenly.

"It's okay. Think of me as the terminator. I'm pretty indestructible."

We both smiled. I am so screwed.


	7. Chapter 7: The Confrontation

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Stephanie Meyer owns Twilight.

Chapter 7: The Confrontation

The house started to came to life with conversations and laughter. Jasper and Emmett are in front of the flat screen, playing that stupid video game again. I gave up on trying playing that stupid Mario game. It feels like everyone else has met and rescued the princess and I'm on level one trying to jump that stupid ledge. I think my Mario's defective.

I'm not very social on times like this. I'm usually the one you see on the corner, wine glass in her hand and a book on the other. I leave all the hosting activities to Jasper. He has a way of making everyone feel comfortable. I would normally enjoy getting lost with the words of Austen but this time, it was different. I felt uneasy but not in a bad way. I looked and around and met a pair of green eyes that are watching me from across the room. I gave him a weak smile and he rewarded me with his crooked grin. He started walking towards me. My heart rate sped up. If I continue to hang around this man, I might actually die of a heart attack

"Hey I was thinking about this song that I wanted to try in the piano. Do you want to join me. Maybe sing with me?" Edward looks excited.

"Um sure" this feels foreign to me. Its bubbles in my stomach, like the fizz of a soda pop.

He extended his hand and I was a little too eager to grab it. Damn it! I hope he didn't notice. We made our way to the piano and he started playing a couple of notes and I recognized it immediately. He nodded his head as a signal for me to go ahead.

**_Swaying room as the music starts_**

**_Strangers making the most of the dark_**

**_Two by Two their bodies become one_**

Edwards smiled and looked at me. I was about to open my mouth but had a feeling he wanted to take over this verse.

**_I see you through the smoky air_**

**_Can't you feel the weight of my stare?_**

**_You're so close but still a world away _**

**_What I'm dying to say…_**

I wanted those words to belong to me and for a moment, I did not care if it was for me. All I wanted was for him to mean it, to include my name as he sing it. My heart swelled and I felt that I want to confess to him exactly what I am feeling. And so I did.

**_Is that I'm crazy for you _**

**_Touch me once and you'll know it's true_**

**_I've never wanted anyone like this _**

**_It's all brand new _**

**_You'll feel it in my kiss_**

I felt Edward slowed down the tempo when he said those words. I wanted to kiss him. I stared at his lips as he licked it and opened it slightly. It was like gravity pulling me to those lips, like a black hole sucking me and I have no way to fight it. I heard the keys of the piano softened as he started to lean towards me, his eyes asking for permission. I could not believe what was about to happen, I was about to kiss Edward. I heard a loud slam of the front door and the heavy footsteps of a very drunk James.

"Who the fuck is this guy Bella?" Jasper and Emmett was quick on their feet as soon as they realize what was happening. "I was gone for one day and you are already trying to suck this guy's face, you slut!"

Edward tucked me behind him as if he was trying to shield me from an impending attack. I can't believe this is happening! Edward and James are on each others throat and all I can think about is how heavenly Edwards smells.

"Watch your mouth man! I think when it comes to someone question of fidelity; you should really take a good look at yourself first."

"Where did you get this guy Bella? He sounds like an ass." James features started to soften. He looked like a lost child. "Please, Bella, can we go to your room and talk? Please.'

Jasper came in to rescue me. I can't help myself sometimes when begs like that. I closed my eyes and focused on the memory of a semi decent woman wearing the shirt that I got James for his birthday last year.

"That's enough James! You better get your ass downstairs or so help me God I will kick your ass to the street. The only reason why you are still here is because Bella ask me to let you stay and if I we're you, I won't be pushing it." He pushed James and James swayed a little more than what was safe and fell on the ground. I want to feel sorry for him and help him up, but then a red-headed woman came into my peripheral view. Victoria was standing on the door way, on a hurry to help James. I was furious. How can he do this to me? But like always, no words came out of my mouth. I was never good at confrontations.

"You're kidding me!" I heard Rose mutter.

I lost it. My breathing became labor. I felt like I was running out of oxygen. All I could do was run towards my room and slam the door behind me. I buried my head on my pillow and screamed out all the pain.

A few minutes later I heard my door opened slowly.

"Jasper I don't really feel like talking now. Can you just come back in the morning?"

"It's Edward, Bella" I stiffened. "I just wanted to check if you were okay." I felt him come closer. I don't want him to see me like this but I also don't want him to go. I let go on my grip on the pillow and sat on the edge of my bed. He sat right next to me.

"Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want some water?" His eyes looked so kind. I continue to stare at him. I don't think I have the strength to hold myself together and talk at the same time.

"I'm sorry this is happening to you. I wish that I…." Edward looked in pain. Is that look for me? My hands started moving like it has a mind of its own. My fingers explored his face, feeling his skin with my fingertips until it found the corner of his lips. My fingers lingered a little too long there, my eyes never straying away from the lines of his mouth.

"Bella…" Edward whispered. I was hungry to feel something different. Anything that will kill the pain. I looked at his eyes and before I know it, my hands grabbed his faced and my mouth slammed in his. He kissed me back. I felt his hands move in my back and made its way to my hair. I felt my back make contact to the bed. For a second, I felt a similar feeling in his kisses that I feel in mine, sadness and longing. Edward was sad. I continue to suck the bottom of his lips and my teeth slightly grazed those lips. I heard a low growl coming from Edward and I wanted to feel more. I slightly open my mouth hoping he will take advantage of this and grant me his tongue and I was not disappointed. His tongue was soft and warm and it took all my strength to not want to bury myself in all of Edward. My hands were tangled in his hair and I tugged them, signaling him that I don't want him to stop. But he did.

"Bella, we have to stop. This wrong; you're vulnerable and I… I don't want to take advantage of you."

"You're not." I moved closer, attempting to close the gap. I grabbed the collar of his shirt, wanting to smell him again.

"But I am" there was pain in his voice. He pushed me gently and I felt a pang of pain in my chest. He is rejecting me. I'm not good enough. I wasn't good enough for James and I was surely not good enough for Edward. I finally came down from the high that I was in, just long enough to let go of Edward.

"Bella…"

Finally, I made a confession. But it wasn't for Edward to hear and make sense of. It was for me. "I don't deserve this! I don't deserve any of this! I'm a good person! I'm good girlfriend. I don't deserve this… I don't deserve any this." I was yelling now hitting Edward's chest.

For the first time, I was honest to myself about my feelings. It was not upset about the cheating. I was not sad because I lost James. I was not even angry that there was already another woman, presenting herself as my replacement. In the end of the day, I just wasn't enough. How can I go on with my life knowing that I gave all that I am and I was still unable to make him happy? I knew James. I know that he likes his eggs scrambled and I make sure that it served with English muffin. I never linger when we argue about simple things and I always give me the benifit of the doubt. I forgave him for his mistake because I know he is only a man. I did all I thought was what a woman does for his man. I even fuck him even if I'm tired and sick! If all these wasn't enough, if all these things were not enough to hold him; then what is there left for me to give? No one can love me. No one will want me.

"I promise tomorrow it will feel a little less painful."

"How do you know? I so tired but I can't sleep, I wont. I'll just dream of him.. and her.. and I cant…"

"It''s okay Bella. I promise I'll wake you up if you get nightmares. Come; let's get you settled in your bed." I obeyed. Edward tucked me in and gave me a kiss on my forehead.

He turned off my lamp and he made his way towards the chair across the room. I couldn't help but start sobbing. He might be in my room but I still feel so alone. He walked back towards me and whipped the tears that are flooding in my face

"I promise Bella, I'll be right here." His voice was soft and melodic. " I wish I can say the right things to make all of this go away. I wish I can take the pain away."

"Please, Edward, stay here, with me, in my bed." I have no idea where that came from. I just know that I need him.

"Bella, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Please, I need this. I need you." And those words are so true. "I promise I'll be good." I was begging now.

Edwards stared at me and finally let out a sigh. He took off his jacket and his shoes. He laid down beside me but he refused to go under the covers. He put his arms around me and I nuzzled my face on his chest.

"Tell me I won't regret this in the morning. Tell me you won't feel uncomfortable or shy and you will talk to me." He whispered to my ear.

"I PROMISE. I couldn't do that to you Edward, even if I want too." And that was the truth.

"Okay. Goodnight Isabella."

"Goodnight Edward."

I closed my eyes and I felt him inhale my hair. I did the same thing to his chest

"Edward?"

"Yeah"

"You should really stop smoking."

He let out a chuckle and he embraced me a little more tightly.

"I'll think about it."

From this moment on, I know whatever happens; Edwards will now be a part of my life.


	8. Chapter 8: The Morning After

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Stephanie Myer wrote Twilight.

The Morning After

I finally became aware that the light is starting to permeate into my room. Damn it! This morning is the only time I wish it will rain here at Washington. I could still feel his body wrapped around me, his fingers exploring my hair and my arms. I let out a sigh, a little too loud. Loud enough for him to realize I was awake.

"Good Morning." He started to slowly release me.

Damn it!

"Good Morning." I said shyly. It was a little difficult to feel coherent waking up in Edwards arms. I couldn't look at him just yet. I'm still a little embarrassed about last night.

"Hey, none of that okay?" He held my chin and tilted it to meet his eyes. "You promised me."

"I know. I promised I won't. But it doesn't mean that I can't feel embarrassed about it."

He smiled. "I think I should get up before Jasper asks too many questions. He is pretty protective of you."

"What time is it?" I felt sharp pain in my eyes. Shit! I think I left my contacts on.

"It's six in the morning."

"Jasper's gone. He works at 5:30 in the morning every Sunday." I started to get comfortable again knowing that he might actually stay a bit longer in my bed.

"Wow. That must suck." And he did what I expected. He swung his arms around my waist and pulled me a little closer to him.

"He likes it since he's done by lunch and we get to hang out the rest of the day." I need words to come out of my mouth or he will guess that I am having all sorts of thoughts at this time.

I started to get up just to test my theory, but I felt Edward pull me down. Success!

"Please don't take this the wrong way but, can we sleep together a little longer?"

I swallowed and stopped breathing.

"Don't worry Bella, if you don't feel comfortable… I was just... I mean… fuck…"

"It's okay Edward. You just surprise me. You actually saved me a huge embarrassment for having to ask the same thing. I never slept as sound as that for as long as I could remember." It was true. I actually at one point was self medicating myself with Benadryl just to get some shut eye.

"Me too! I usually wake up 3 to 4 times a night."

I snuggled back to Edward's chest and almost instantly fell asleep.

"Edward, can you come out here for a second." It was Jasper. He sounds pissed.

Edward got up immediately, taking the warmth with him. Shit! What time is it? I looked at the clock, 12:30? I slept a total of 14 hours? What am I, a two-year old?

I heard loud whispers in the hallway, then footsteps. Jasper came in my room.

"Jasper I swear nothing happen. We just…"

"I know. I trust my cousin Bella. I know he will never take advantage of you." He pulled a chair and handed me my iced caramel macchiato upside down.

"But... What was that all about then?

"I might trust him but I know him. I just want to make sure some things are clear."

"Are you mad at me?" Please say no!

Jasper sat beside me and put his arms around me. He kissed my forehead. "Silly girl. I'm going to sleep for a little while. Maybe you can cook dinner for the three of us tonight."

"You got it Dawson."

"Thanks Joey"

Edward entered the room. He changed and showered, his hair still wet.

"Dawson?"

"Don't ask," Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Well you can't just say Dawson and think that I will let that go did you? Do tell cousin."

I started laughing, remembering the first time I called Jasper Dawson.

_"Well I think that Dawson is gay. He is in love with her but he keeps talking about being friends all the time. I mean, you can't say those things and then reject a girl. No wonder Joey's cynical all the time."_

_"Jasper, you just describe you and me." I got up from my bed and sat on Jasper's lap. I put my best Josephine Potter impression. "Do you love me though? Because I'm 15 years old and I go through every day of my life thinking that nobody loves me."_

_He made the ugliest crying face, imitating the "cry heard around the world scene" when Joey left Dawson. "You are I will always be like this, just Dawson and Joey."_

_We looked at each other and started laughing hysterically. He is right though. We will always be just Jasper and Bella._

_"Okay Dawson, let go and finish our homework!"_

_"Whatever you say Joey."_

"You love it when I call you that. I use to make him watch Dawson's Creek and when he saw Joey for the first time, he said that I was her twin."

"Katie Holmes it hot! But it was more her mannerism than anything else. It's the way she tucks her hair behind her ears. And then she does this shoulder thing followed by the eye-rolling and crooked smile. So, I started calling her Joey."

"What's Dawson's Creek?

My jaw dropped. "What kind of questions is that? That's like saying what is "Freaks and Geeks"?

Edward looked embarrassed.

"Oh My God!" I can't believe it. Who has not heard about two of the most awesome show ever?

"You are so dead cousin. She is going to make you watch that shit!"

"Hey don't hate, Dawson. You're the lover, remember. You don't do sarcastic. That's Pacey, the overbearing bad boy who melts your heart when he says shit like "I'm going to count to ten, then I am going to kiss you. If you don't want me to, then you're just going to have to stop me." Damn, that gets to me everytime.

"Sure Jo…" he stood up and headed to his room

"Well, that Pacey guy seems like an interesting fellow."

"Joey and Pacey ended up together in the end of the series. I actually liked that ending. It put everyone in their right places, still close and still together." I think I'm going to watch the series finale tonight.

"Well then, I vote Pacey all the way." What does he mean by that?

"Seriously, what do you guys do at Canada? Don't tell me. You guys spend all your days chasing moose in the daytime and getting drunk and violent while watching hockey at night?"

"You pretty funny."

Silence

"Do you want me to give you a tour of the neighborhood?"

"I would love that Bella. Then maybe you and I can grab lunch since we didn't eat breakfast."

"Sound good. I know the perfect place."


End file.
